On Being a Mother

This year as I thought about Mother’s Day, I reflected on experiences I had with each of my children individually that really made me feel like a mother, and tried to narrow it down to just one per child. See if you can discover the common denominator in these situations.

• Watching a toddler tumble down a flight of concrete stairs.
• Taking another toddler to the doctor and discovering he had broken his leg the night before.
• Cutting a hospital stay short because someone at home was missing his mom.
• Daily flash-card practice to help a two-year-old learn to how to talk.
• Missing a child’s first soccer goal of the season.
• Crying with a teenager over the premature end to his wrestling season.

What I discovered is that in each of these cases my heart was broken and devastated because my child was disappointed or in pain. Why does that make me feel like a mother? I’m not sure, but maybe it’s because when you truly love someone, you hurt when they hurt, and it’s easy to equate motherhood and love.

Often our children face disappointment and pain through no fault of our own, and that is still sad. When their sadness comes as the result of our actions, or even just our perceived actions, it’s even more crushing.

I could come up with a slew of examples for that, but will share just a single story. One of our sons needed to fill his class schedule the second semester of college with an elective. He hadn’t settled on a major, but several of the ones he was considering all required the beginning Anatomy class, so I suggested he add that class. I didn’t realize that this class was entirely memorization, which was a challenge for him. He studied hard and made a valiant attempt to do well, but got a terrible grade, and I felt awful for recommending that class and encouraging him to take it.

This is turning into a depressing Mother’s Day post, isn’t it?

Fortunately, this particular story has a happy ending. This son did choose a major in the medical field. He retook the Anatomy class and did much better the second time. Then he took Anatomy again as part of his doctoral program. Today he is a successful physical therapist, and we’re extremely proud of him.

So, these Mother’s Day memories are really a message of hope. Skinned knees and broken legs heal. Failures in sports lead to success in life. Challenges can be overcome. Love truly does conquer all, especially when we add the love of Christ to our own maternal instincts.

I love this quote from President Russell M. Nelson:

Saints can be happy under every circumstance. We can feel joy even while having a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year! My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.

To me, being a mother is a joyful experience. My memories of sad times are greatly overshadowed by my memories of wonderful times, and I’m grateful for that. Opposition is necessary, even in motherhood. And I’m grateful that even during the challenging times, we can feel peace and joy.

Happy Mother’s Day!